My Bio:

A lover of things dark and grim...
A lover of things bright and beautiful...
Contradictory and contrary...
Curiouser and curiouser...

That piece of writing used to be the subtitle of my blog banner/header and was under my my original bio when I started the blog back in 2012. I almost ditched it when I wanted a fresh start and redesigned the blog, but after thinking about it; it still describes me pretty well. It's a tad whimsical, a little neurotic, most definitely silly... But that's me.

A lot of my long time followers know much of this already, but it has been deleted over time and I suppose in the spirit of my relaunched blog it deserves to be written here again for anybody seeing my blog for the first time.

I can trace back specifically to the release of Heroquest in 1989 as my first true step into the worlds of wargaming, miniatures and roleplay. I was 8 years old. And I was already a massive Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Horror fan and soaked them up in whatever media was available, books, comics, audio dramas, animation, movies.

I was aware of Dungeons & Dragons at the time, who wasn't in the 80's?  But my friends and I fell into the part of the younger siblings/children that weren't allowed to take part because we were too young or too distracting, but Heroquest was ours! And really not very long after it Warhammer, 40k and my own D&D games and more and more games and RPG's thereafter.

I am now in my mid 30's, a father of 4 and I am a full time carer for 2 disabled adults, my partner and my mother who I have been sole carer for since I was 12. And I have been suffering from chronic depression since my mid-teens. Do you need to know any of this? Not really I suppose, but it belongs in my bio because it is a part of who I am and the reason I made this blog in the first place.

Depression dug in deep in the early years, I don't mean I felt a little down sometimes, when I got really bad, I had been known to fall into total catatonic shutdown. After many abortive attempts from many doctors to medicate me and fix whatever screwy wiring or chemical imbalance I have up there...I stopped.

I came to a realisation during my struggle with my own brain that when I'm being productive with my creative pursuits, hobbies, art, photography, miniatures, wargames, board games, roleplaying or spending time with my children. When I'm involved, engaged, or doing anything that captures my imagination and let's me bring to life all the Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Horror stories I've loved since I can remember. That's when I feel right, feel normal, not disconnected from my friends and my loved ones.

So I decided to take a more active stance and rally myself against that depression. That is the purpose of this blog, I am using it as a node, a foci, a candle in the dark.

To put it simply and plainly. When I can use my imagination to have fun, make things and share stories, it gives me the strength to kick depression square in the balls.

And along the way I've been in contact with some truly inspirational hobbyists and made friends through this blog since it was born and that's a good reason not to give up on it now.

After all that laid out I just realised I didn't even start this bio off with who I am... My name is Jonathan... My friends call me Jonah... Won't you follow along and take your turn giving depression a swift knee to the happy sack?

Oh and... My kids get to play D&D.

Take care.

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